Why It's always about me?

Stuck at the tailor waiting in idle mode, feeling time is wasting away like there's no tomorrow zzzzzz.. heart don't feel quite great today, it's painful... Don't ask me why... Here I am, sitting down at the corner, words flowing in my mind and i am writing again. 

When will I stop focusing too much on myself, being full of myself and start observing my surroundings? 

I have always believed that we are the shaper/creator of our life. That if i want something for myself, I have to get out and actively take a role in pathing my life out. 

I feel the same about relationships too; that we must work hard for it to happen and to stay committed. 

But what about the "spiritual variables" where people that come into our lives in certain stage for a reason? What about things that happened for a reason? 

There are no random encounters, no dumb luck but only realisation and messages that only can be revealed in time. 

Am i allow to risk my faith once again? To be bold and brave in doing mistakes after i made my choice...? That i will move on with prayer of blessings on the plans that i have chose for myself, and that no matter what happens after this, God you will always be there for me to go through those moments together?

At the very least, I want to believe that if people are meant to cross path / destined to meet again for a purpose... eventually they will find their way back; like the previous events that you have shown me. 

Ying

P.S : Mr Brightside by The Killers extra healing today.