Sigh.. So boring ar… Semester has not started yet and I am doing nothing. Have not got my room too since I only can move in on 23rd July 2008. Amazingly, there is not much entertainment here compare to life back in Miri. Shops close around 5 or 6pm and you won’t be seeing much people outside at night. So creepy man… besides that, food portion here are HUGE, I hardly finish the food ordered from the stall… weather are so freaking cold… sigh… hope I can find a job soon to kill my time here.
Having a new beginning is not as easy as I thought. I thought by leaving far away from home, from people at home can make me move on. But now, I am not so sure anymore. I guess it really takes time to cope with it. Just before I leave I saw someone.. Someone that I miss so much, someone that apart from me. We walked pass each other and I do not intent to greet because I am afraid that I’ll be unable to leave. The moment where you felt just few meters away from each other.. Long awaited tears.. oh man.. It’s good enough that God had given me a chance to see someone I care so much and doing very fine.
I feel that he still remains a place in my heart.. It’s feel like so yesterday... Somehow, being apart is hurting.. But if I still remain at the same destination, it will be more hurting and difficult than this moment. I can tell people that I am doing fine, that I have over it and I can fake myself up. No matter how well I cover up myself, I just can’t lie to myself, my heart.
The prove that you actually being in love/loved someone is when this person always remains in your mind all the time, when you just can’t forget the good and special time both people spent before; when your emotion still affected by him; when you just can’t felt your own heart when he left; when you look into the mirror and smile to yourself on little sweet funny things that happen between 2 people before. It is the person where you are able to accept, love and appreciate who they are, even their good and bad. It’s always as simple as that, don’t know why things got so complicated..
People always say, ‘if it is yours, it will remains as yours’ or ‘Just let it be.. Time will tell everything’. But, if we keep moving on and do not do something about it, sometimes it is just simply ‘it is not yours’, right? It’s like you have given up before you have tried your best to fight for the one that you love. So? What should we do?? Try to make it yours by any mean or just wait? Is keeping the same hope good or bad?? Such confusing statement human can talk about here. At the end of the day, we just have to have strong faith/believe and pray for dream come true.
P/S : Will such confuse girl who keep holding on will have an ending like Enchanted where true love kiss exist? Well, sounds impossible and like a dream.
Regards,
L.L
May God Bless You Always +
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